Have you ever said to yourself:
“I feel like I am the only one who cares about _____________”
You are in the right place…
For me it was always wildlife -- trees, birds, fish. Since I was
very small even the idea of interacting with other species set my soul ablaze
like nothing else. Sandcrabs were always more interesting to me than
beachballs, and every maple, spruce and gingko on my block was in my prayers
every night, City birds especially tugged at my heart, I drew strength from
their resilience and boisterous energies as they sang in the face of urban
hardships,
While I recorded such musings in various journals throughout my
life, I don’t ever recall having a conversation about these things. When I
pointed them out no one seemed interested, An old flame even said,”I’ve seen
trees before.” (Probably a future essay here, on how you know you’re with the
wrong person!) And for better or worse, I think I stopped trying.
This turned into a sort of grief reaction, in anticipation of
what I loved being neglected and destroyed, because people don’t share my
priorities. Where I felt such an abundance of love, I also always encountered
the pain of a lack of that, which I had no way of making up for. Eventually it
overtook the high energy vibrations I used to experience, I was not able to
access them any more. I thought and felt the same, but I was not receiving what
I now know was a confirmation from the Universe, saying “Yes, this is very
important, keep looking and feeling.”
It is probably not insignificant that this happened around 9-11
and I lived in NYC. And it’s not as if I lived in desolation, I was writing
prolifically and vividly, partnered with the great love of my life, and started
creating and exhibiting visual art. In the end, it was writing that brought me
back around - while whirling a sci-fi time travel/multiverse concept around in
my head, I found a character not able to decide what they could know for
certain was real anymore. Glancing over at Mark beside me, I heard my inner
voice whisper, “only love.”
The idea that love is all being at the center of many teachings
of New Thought, this notion brought me reconsider my much earlier explorations.
I consumed a great deal from the self-help and psychology shelves at the
bookstore, with standout authors such as Barbara DeAngelis, Wayne Dyer, and
M.Scott Peck influencing my personal philosophy, and my understanding of my
personal spiritual history, in life-changing ways. And Oprah made me dream of
my own talk show! (Mostly so I could spend every day learning about humans.)
So, years later, after life took a few sharp turns, I was
fortunate to have good friends guide me the the fact that I could resume this
exploration via electronic media. Which, not coincidentally, has also provided
people like me with an opportunity to present upon some kind of public platform
largely free of complications and gatekeepers. I could even host a talk show as
a podcast! And instead of thinking, too bad it took so long, I believe there is
some “divine timing” to it all.
Why is “divine” in quotes? Communication. All of us are made of
the same energy that composes the cosmos - stardust, if you will. Over
millennia humans have identified this energy as one or many somewhat
anthropomorphic deities and, indeed, were this energy to communicate with us,
it would have to take a form comprehensible to people - . “God” is a great way
to refer to this energy for many, and yet for many others the name is painful
because of what people have inflicted on the word trying to claim some kind of
divine privilege for themselves, so I work to keep my discourse as innocent
secularism. I myself have received words in voices both male and female, but
that doesn’t mean I believe the source was a single, transgender supreme being
- just a large, loving energy making sure it was understood in that moment by another
little bit of energy ensconced in a body.
Finally having chosen to listen and teach and care for others, I
can now say, “Go out and look at a tree whether you want to or not!” And others
can take or leave that or say I’m nuts when I leave the room, and I will remain
unfazed...
What excites me in this moment (and inspired this post) is
Marianne Williamson’s Presidential bid -- she is a leader who has been helping
people awaken to the values that are most important to me for decades, and now
more people will learn of her work. Marianne has also demonstrated over the
years that Americans needed to mind our community and democracy, and she would
do a great job pulling us off the brink.
